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A case study from Motivation Training graduate Maureen Barrie

Helping those who Love and need you the most

Often in our quest to help others through our therapy we miss the fact that there are people out there that haven't stated they have a problem but equally they would benefit enormously from the techniques that we practice. The people I am referring to are the "little people" in our lives - our children!

They don't come along with a specific problem but armed with these new skills we gain in training it suddenly hits you that something is not quite right. I had this experience after completing module 1. My little girl Megan (who is 7) had been complaining for a while that she had sore tummies and I often had to deal with tears before school in the morning and the usual crazy attention seeking behaviour at bedtime, which I had dismissed as behaviour that all kids of this age display. However, armed with an enhanced awareness it suddenly twigged that something wasn't right as there was a change in her pattern of behaviour. I kind of hummed and awed wondering if there was something I could do to help but I wasn't sure if hypnotherapy for kids was off the menu or not?

It was only after having some friends round as my module 1 case studies that Megan boldly came into my office and said "mummy what is this hypnotherapy you are doing when you have your office door shut". I explained it as simply as I could that I helped people to relax and then helped them to find ways to change something they are not happy with in their life and find a new way that made them happier and feel nice. She exclaimed that she would like to feel nice and promptly jumped up on the couch and said "I'm ready for my turn!". Well I thought what could be the harm and I got her to play a game of tightly shutting her eyes and feel like they were tighter and tighter. To my surprise I started to see her relax and her face soften and we were off into a nice trance. I did a simple session with her and once we were finished she calmly said she was going to bed - no fuss, no tears no demands for a story - off she went. Wow - how great was that! Even better when she got up the next morning refreshed and got ready for school with no fuss.

I had to laugh the next evening when after my next case study was saying goodbye at the door I turned round to see her dashing into the room and when I got back she was sprawled out on the couch proclaiming "I'm ready for my hypnosis now!" She said her tummy felt a bit better but was still sore at times. She particularly liked the journeys we went on in trance with her favourite pony Wendy from her riding lessons.

The morning after I got home from Module 2 Megan woke up upset and caused a huge fuss about going to school. Not surprising as she hadn't seen me for 5 days and now that I was there I was shepherding her out to school. Of course the sore tummy had come back with a vengance. "Right" I said, "lets get you off to school and then tonight we'll spend lots of time together and help you feel happier". So I soon as I got home from work I was dragged into the office and she was ready for her session. Armed with my new knowledge of NLP and analysing submodalties I got to work using her fabulous imagination to get her to tell me more about what she thinks about/visualises when she was really happy in the past and alternatively when her tummy was sore now. In some ways I was happy to get to the root of the problem but felt dreadful that I was a large part of the problem. She was at her happiest when I wasn't working after taking some time out of a busy career to support her brother who had been diagnosed with autism. She loved me picking her up from Nursery/school and holding her hand on the way home. On the other hand at the moment she said at school she has horrible thoughts that I might never come back from work one day (sadly I am back to being a workaholic and work crazy hours - but I'm working on that!!!). Aha - I'm no doctor but that felt that a major does of separation anxiety!

And so we started the session and I got that wonderful imagination of hers to work, conjuring up a picture that made her happy and getting her to describe it fully, colour, sounds the lot. It was a lovely picture of her on Wendy and I was there holding the horse and there was pink and red love hearts coming out of the picture. I then associated the feelings of being really happy with that picture and then explained that she didn't always need mummy there to make her feel nice and that she could do it all by herself by bringing up the picture, thus anchoring the association. She also then decided she wanted a picture of her Daddy's smile and then I got her to imagine the picture and then pull it in towards her heart and that she could touch her heart when she felt lonely or sad at school and then she can instantly see the picture and feel relaxed.

Bingo!! The next morning she was skipping around in the morning and got ready for school no problem and then she proudly told me at night that she had felt her tummy start to tighten and she had closed her eyes, touched her heart and imagined the pictures and it made her feel much better. "Wow" I thought. I hadn't done a lot but by using some very simple techniques she had benefited enormously.

I guess the most important thing I learned was that there are people all around us that need a little help sometimes. We are in a unique position that through our knowledge and skills we can help others in the most effective way. And children in particular are so receptive with their wonderful imaginations that investing a little time teaching them we can set them off on a path of positive discovery that teaches them to help themselves.

I've since done some work with my son who is on the autistic spectrum and I had to laugh the other day when I asked him what sort of things still worried him the most. He answered "what worries? I can just kick back and go with the flow" whilst gesturing his hand like a fish through water. Now that really made me smile. Happy kids equals happy me!

A sequel to the last paragraph - received a day later - Just had Dominic's review at school with special needs and he has made huge improvements. Much less anxious so I told them all about what I had been doing and they are going to arrange something next term for me to do a talk for the teachers. :0)))